A collection of various media old and new created by me. Whoever that is.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Been a while, huh?
*stretches*
Gram went to Florida with my aunt*, so it's just me and my grandfather. We're starting to run out of certain dishes, but they'll be back within the next day or so.
I've been meaning to make a post about SSBB, but I never got around to it. I guess this one will suffice. Every character is at least a little different. The characters who were blatantly underpowered (Game and Watch, Bowser, etc.) got a number of tangible boosts. GW's turtle does multiple hits much more easily, and his recovery is better, because he's got the parachute as part of it now. (The only bad thing for him is that the parachute isn't his nair anymore, so he can't kill with it easily.) Bowser got some range, power, and priority boosts. He can crawl, and has more kill moves. Less lag after a lot of his moves, too. (Most peoples' aerials have a lot less lag. Other than Ike and Ganondorf, most people can do about as many aerials as Luigi could in Melee. Partly because of the lag, and partly because everyone is much more floaty now.)
In an effort at balance, the strongest people from Melee were all nerfed. Fox and Falco can't use their down+B's to knock people all over the place with impunity anymore, and lost some knockback power. Sheik's power is so sad, Zelda is actually useful now. Marth's sword is shorter, and because of knockback reduction, he can't just spam fair and fsmash. Peach lost her downsmash and turnips are easier to catch now. Also, her double jump is worse than Zelda's was in Melee (which didn't seem possible) and her floating after up+B is more easily punished.
Now to focus on one of the only characters that actually matters. (Mario...)
Nair: Seems to have a slightly bigger hitbox. Fair: Acts like a (much) weaker version of Dr. Mario's for the first half, while the second half is still a meteor smash. The meteor portion seems to have much stronger spiking power than before. Dair: Is now the Mario Tornado. He can't rise with it, but it's easier to multi-hit with than in Melee, and dair now threatens a kill if you hit with the top of it. It has terrible priority at the feet, though, unlike his old dair. (Who the hell thought FLUDD was a good thing to add? It's even more useless than the new random tripping that happens sometimes when you try to run, which is also fucking ridiculous.) Uair: Harder to combo with now, but so is most everything else. Easier to hit with the back part than the front now. Bair: Functions like his fair/bair from the original game rather than the superior dropkick from Melee. Doesn't combo as easily, and I think it takes longer to come out than before. It may have slightly more killing power at higher percents, though.
Utilt: Combos more easily into itself than before. One of the few things that combos into uair easily now. Ftilt: About the same as before in terms of form and function. Dtilt: Not sure, but the old Dtilt -> Fsmash probably doesn't work now. It's not only the tilt's fault, though...
Fsmash: More startup lag than before, but has a little more knockback power. Since everyone recovers much more easily, it's a wash. Usmash: Slightly more horizontal range. The hitbox actually extends slightly beyond his head (especially from the top, like before), which is good. Some say it has some super armor frames, but I'm not sure. Dsmash: About the same as before.
Running A is about the same. A combo stuns a little better, so you can mix it up more.
B: Fireballs come out faster, but have much less range than before. Good for mid-range approach now that horizontal motion in the air is better.
Smash B: The cape lost a bit of relative horizontal motion, but that's ok. Not sure if the hitbox is larger/smaller/wider/etc.
Up B: Multi-hits much more easily, and has knockback like Dr. Mario's from Melee (maybe better, even). It also seems to have his upward range, which allowed him to grab the ledge from further away than Mario could in Melee.
Down B: *throws up in his mouth a little* This move is a travesty. With all the new moves that affect one's own motion (GW's dair, almost all of Lucas' aerials) and other moves that affect the other person's motion (Link's Gale Boomerang, GW's uair)...why the hell did Mario lose a useful move to get a shitty one that does zero damage, has to be charged, and has terrible knockback (its ONLY function) even when charged? It's a sad mockery of a decent move. Maybe if it had the same knockback on people in the air as it did people on the ground, it would be semi-useful sometimes, giving Mario back some of the edgeguarding ability everyone lost.
Oh, I'll also note that it's bullshit that Mario only gets 4 characters like Zelda (5 actually, since Zelda/Sheik count as one) and Pokemon (6 actually, since PT counts as one). Zelda/Sheik was only acceptable in Melee because we had Dr. Mario giving the Mario series 5 spots. The next one better have some Mario RPG characters (and maybe even second-stringers like Waluigi) if any more Zelda, Pokemon, or random characters make it in. It'll be interesting to see if Snake and/or Sonic stay into the next game, since they're third-party.
*In a 15-mpg van that they borrowed because my aunt didn't feel like driving her car. Did I mention it can barely accelerate? Yeah...
Short post, since the stuff in my draft post is too old and out-of-date now.
I got a call from a man (?) named Michelle (?) from Hillary Clinton's campaign today.* They wanted to know if I had any time to volunteer for the campaign now that there's only a couple of weeks left in her campaign until Ohio's Primary date.
I assume they got the number from the time I bought Gram a t-shirt from Hillary's site. Even though basically all of my time is free at the moment, I still said I didn't have any time. When he said "No time?" as in "No time at all?" I fell back on a variation of Dick Cheney's "I have other priorities" line.
Plus, I wouldn't be able to put my heart** into it, since I don't really support her campaign. In what has become a three-way race (Clinton, McCain, Obama), the candidate I want to support is Barack Hussein Obama.*** (We're going to go to the polls at the same time wearing our candidate shirts...you know, for dramatic effect.)
I could elaborate on why, but based on my experience, I'm fairly sure that no one actually cares. Suffice it to say I don't believe any of the various conspiracy theories or wild-eyed conjecture about any of the three: Clinton will not nationalize every industry and turn us all into commies; McCain is not a shellshocked/brainwashed old codger rendered insane by his time as a POW; and Obama is not a Muslim plant sent to "destroy us from the inside". (If there was any force capable of that, it should be out of office by this time next year.) In addition to whatever other things I'm sure are floating around out there.
I guess that's it for now, or this won't be able to qualify as a short post.
Oh, one last thing: Toshiba isn't going to make HD-DVD players anymore. Who didn't see this coming? Sony wouldn't cut the Playstation brand's momentum by 75% or so without a good reason.
*I know he didn't say "Mitchell" or anything like that. Does this indicate greater support of Hillary among the transgender community? No, because it's a single data point, you jackass. On a tangentially related note, how about that guy on death row who wants the government to pay for him to get a sex change operation? The fact that the sheer length of his stay on death row has given him enough time to come up with such an inane non-justification for what he did serves as something of an indictment against the state of the death penalty in our justice system. With all the automatic appeals for ridiculous reasons (maybe if you had better lawyers - ones that would tell you doing Hitler's salute in court was a bad idea in terms of gaining the jury's sympathy - you would have just gotten life in prison for the crime you're obviously guilty of), it'd be easier to just throw them in for life. If you really wanted them dead, you'd put them in the general population anyway.
It's less than 20 minutes to midnight as I type this opening in the Blogger interface. I don't usually get excited by silly human holidays, which are generally as arbitrary and capricious as people themselves, but even I can't help but watch the clock wind down. These are the last moments of the time period we've designated 2007, after all.* It's like a new beginning, of sorts. My internal energy battery will start picking up again for a while now. Plus, this is the last full year of the Bush presidency. I think...I think this is...happiness, I'm suddenly feeling.
Excuse me, I have something in my eye...
I read my post from around this time a year ago, and I believe I fulfilled both the spirit and the letter of my vaguely-worded oath. When trying to think of some form of self-improvement journey to embark on in the coming year, I come up empty-handed.** I guess if I had to choose something right now, it would be to seek out non-obvious ways of improving myself. (One thing I've been considering is relearning things like wall-running. No flipping for me, though, my Balance skill drops by about 30 points when I'm both upside-down and have no feet on the ground. That's not a very profound goal, though, so...like I said, I'll think about it.) I could always resolve to not be so vengeful, but then I'd need another energy source. (Plus, I'm saving that for a more pivotal year.)
It just turned midnight, and a lot of people are shooting guns outside. (Surprisingly, the two are correlated this time.)
*Unless you're Jewish or Chinese or Mayan or something. But I don't care about that.
**Sure, there are things that most people would consider flaws, and I suppose even I do depending on the extent to which they manifest themselves: mostly cynicism and its implications. That's not really something for somebody to choose to work on, is it? And even if it is, it's not really a one-year process. (Maybe two, or three, tops.)
A quick note: most of this was actually written last month (11-16), so anything referencing time relative to "today" is probably using that day.If my thought process appears more disjointed or stilted than usual, that's probably part of it. I'm actually only submitting it because I'm waiting now for the results from the special election in Ohio's 5th district (which is far from here, and I don't know anyone there, but hey). As for why I need so much additional time when all I'm doing is adding a little bit and hitting submit...I don't know, lol. (Wait, I just thought of a reason! Because I'm going to mash the post below, this italicized parts made today, and the half-done post I was going to replace this one with together!)
hmm...time for a follow-up blogging so I can get used to regularly writing about inane crap again.
In no particular order:
I was flipping through channels earlier today and came across one (CNN or Headline News, doesn't matter which) that informed me that Barry Bonds has been indicted with 5 charges: 4 perjuries with a side of obstruction of justice. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. I realize that "indicted" does not equal "convicted", but I'm as convinced of his guilt as most people are of OJ Simpson's guilt.* Maybe now they can take his pathetic ass out of the record books (Bonds, not Simpson, lol) instead of just putting an asterisk next to every entry.** Here's a line for the prosecution: "If his old clothes don't fit, you must convict." Of course, he's not being charged with substance abuse, he's being charged with perjury and obstruction, i.e. the crimes they charge you with if your subsequent criminality makes it impossible to determine and/or prove your previous criminality.
I got Super Mario Galaxy Tuesday. As of around 4am (today, not the same day), I had all 120 stars...that Mario can get. This game...damn. If any game before ever surpassed the hype to this extent, I haven't heard of it. People who complain about the unoriginal storyline are missing the point; Mario has never been about the deep, engrossing story, it's about playing the most well-crafted and painstakingly balanced (not to mention innovative***) platforming games ever made. If you claim to like platformers at all and don't love this game, you can eat a giant bag of dicks, nigga. Review sites that give this game 95% or less are doing it a tragic injustice, and are either operating on a logarithmic scale^ (consciously or otherwise) or are just biased assholes.
In case you couldn't tell yet, parts in italics were added today, and not the other today. I just wanted to add that I also beat the game with *whispers* Luigi, and when I went back to using Mario I was more used to Luigi's sliding and longer/higher jumps. It wasn't too bad, but it was noticeable.
*btw, dey need to le'e dat nigga alone. I mean, sure, he should probably get in trouble for that whole "armed robbery" thing, but there are all these smug assholes out there talking about how it's a way of getting back at him for 'getting away with murder'. I know I've already talked about it, so I won't bother to again, but suffice it to say that Ron Goldman's dad can eat a big bag of dicks.
**I wouldn't count on it, though.
***Mention that retarded Ratchet and Clank asshole here (See, what had happen was, this Ratchet and Clank asshole was all like "yeah, it's cool that this nigga be copying our round worlds and shit" and I'm all "what the fuck, bitch nigga? These niggas been usin' every platform element since before yo' ass was even in da game, litraly.")
^I heard one site gave it 98% because the frame rate dropped once or twice, apparently thinking the game must literally be perfect to get 100%. (Does penmanship count?) If I get comfermation of this and find out they gave some other bullshit game 100%...well, I wouldn't want to be around me then. The righteous indignation will be pouring off me in waves.
---
This part is from December 3, apparently...the day Brawl was supposed to come out and didn't. Damn Sakurai.
Apparently the Sudanese government, that bastion of moral authority, deigned to let the schoolteacher who let some kids name a teddy bear “Mohammed”* out of jail, rather than killing her.They would have been completely within their rights to kill her, too; after all, ignorance of the law is no excuse.
But seriously though, the more I think about that case, the dumber it sounds.That’d be like people here getting up in arms over some kids naming a teddy bear “Chris”, because that’s too close to Christ.I mean, 195%** of Muslim men are named some variant spelling of Mohammed anyway, so that’s probably the first name they’d think of.I mean, I could understand the outrage and calls for death if she’d given it a bomb-shaped hat, but as is I think the fervor of the protests is just the product of people with no job and crippling poverty wanting some “other” to vent at.
I should stop here; my dim view of those involved could damage my prospects later on if I decide to run for office.
On a more whimsical note, Super Mario Galaxy is the greatest game ever.***When I finished Super Mario 64, I was sad because it was over.When I finished Super Mario Galaxy (with 121 stars!), I was sad because I know there will probably never be a better platforming game.****Sure, there will be ones with more polygons, but I started playing games before graphics became the standard measure of a game’s value.*****It’s just so fun, the only deficiencies in any sense of the word arise from the fact that there isn’t more of it.(More flying levels would have been nice, for instance.)
*or was the spelling different?
**give or take
***I don’t care what reviewers with an agenda based around keeping that faggot Link on top have to say, Mario is the god of video games.(You can still use the name, though. I won’t get angry.)Besides, OoT got its scores back in a time when the entire industry was different.A lot of them are 4/4 or 5/5 where the reviewer only used integer increments (and if that’s the case, it really is closer to 100% than to 75% or 80%).It was a more innocent industry, too.Reviewers didn’t give games low scores just for the notoriety (at least, not many did).Heck, I got my first PS1 on launch day without waiting in a line, and I wasn’t shot at even once (this is why I use a credit card, even if it has to be a Mastercard, which has a 5 (an uneven number!) at the beginning. Well, I do have a Visa too, but I don't get any points with it).
****Miyamoto-san is getting up there in age, after all. *sniff*
*****That second link might not be fair, though.PS3 clearly isn’t made to play video games.Then again, the graphics displayed in its high-definition “BluRay” movie format are pretty good, so it at least half fits.
The strange excitement I felt upon logging in to blogger quickly gave way to apathy when I realized that I would have to actually, you know, write something for that previous action to hold any significance.
It's been quite some time since I posted here...some of you were reasonably certain that I was dead. Hell, I may be one of you. But, here I am nonetheless. I can't guarantee that this post will be long, or substantive, but I can guarantee two things: pointless links, and rambling. The latter I can practically always guarantee, but the former is something I'm giving a shot today just for the hell of it.*
At more than one point over the last...eight months or so, I've vaguely felt the urge to blog, but I knew if I waited long enough, whatever situation I was going to talk about would either end, correct itself, or go back to the way it was. I could slip into a treatise on the transience of human thought and existence, but that's been done before (and I'm feeling lazy), so I won't.
A few of the things I would have blogged about:
1) My neighbor across the street being put into a home by his wife, her granddaughter, and the granddaughter's husband. The whole situation behind that was retarded, and all their justifications self-serving. I would also have gone into a bitter diatribe about how they were/are squandering his life's savings, but he doesn't seem to be angry about it, so I don't feel I should be either (that bit of self-serving acceptance took a while to reach, and I just may be a different person for it**). He's back home and the gran'kids are gone, so maybe that'll work out.
2) My cousin is a fucking idiot. I could say more about what he's done, and why it makes him a fucking idiot, but given the overarching context of this blog, such action (especially the "why it makes him a fucking idiot" component) would quickly descend into self-parody, and not the kind that I enjoy.
3) The attention-whoring idiot that was tasered in Florida for rushing into an event with a sitting Senator, striking officers, disturbing the peace, and attempting to incite a riot asking John Kerry a question. No relevant link here, since he would get off on that. I'm just glad the officers involved didn't get in any trouble. They definitely shouldn't have, but given how cowed a lot of government bodies are, it wouldn't have surprised me. Thank goodness Florida is a right-to-beat-your-ass-with-impunity state, and that's not parody or me being facetious, I honestly mean it.***
There may have been others, including one I can think of offhand that I may or may not have chosen to keep to myself. I think that's what I'll do, for now at least. If there were others, I forgot them in the process of putting links in using blogger's handy new interface. (And it autosaves? Holy shit.)
But that was just a summary of previous would-be entries; that can't suffice for an entry today.**** With that in mind, a casual observation of something I encountered on wikipedia one day. I don't remember what I was looking for when I found this, probably something like "worst games of all time". (I wasn't looking for porn games, honest.)
I think the entry largely speaks for itself, so I'll just interject with a few observations. First off, the entry notes that an alternate title for the game was "Westward Ho", clearly playing off the westward expansion of the United States in those times and establishing the fact that the word "Ho" in reference to women was in full use by the early 1980s.
That's all well and good, but there's one problem with it. If you look at the (crudely made to the point of being humorous) image on the wikipedia entry, you'll note that the woman is facing the left side of the screen, and Custer is facing the right. That implies that either Custer is heading eastward, or that the reference point has the South as up, which honestly offends my sensibilities more than any other part of the entry or the game itself.
On top of all that, there are versions of the game where the woman is beckoning Custer to bravely continue forward, probably to lessen the connotations that there's rape involved. (Changing the revenge from fouling their women to making them want him, apparently. Or something like that.)
The state of mind of the Native Americans attacking from the background must be called into question. If their true purpose was to prevent Custer from copulating with this woman, why tie her up naked and out in the open? The only logical and sane answer is that their true purpose is to lure Custer into a trap and kill him. There are even versions where Custer is the one tied up (and apparently has a thing for bondage, since he's apparently still at full mast), and the Americans shoot cannonballs (or something) at the native woman trying to reach him. If I weren't so lazy, the plight of these two, outcast by both their families, would lead me to write some bad fanfiction. Somebody should get on that right away.
If you've read this far, congratulations! Some combination of boredom, sheer morbid curiosity, and other trace elements led you through the wilderness I call a train of thought. If I may be so bold, I'd like to ask anyone who reads this to leave a comment (the first time, at least, subsequent readings do not require comments), just to see if anyone's actually still checking this blog. It doesn't even have to be on this entry; I get an email for any comment (at least, I think I still do). I'll also note my MSN Messenger email address, in case there's a distinct lack of inane rambling in your life at this time: bater_triumvirate@hotmail.com. I won't bother with a "no spam" thing, since I don't really check the email portion of it anymore.
*'Tis the season, after all.
**I wouldn't necessarily say "better", though, since I haven't had a mirror match against myself in a long time. My single-shot striking power is lower, but I'm now more capable of unorthodox move chains and have better range.
***Well, the link is parody. Or is it facetious? Ah, I don't really care.
****Or maybe it can. I'm not sure if I've done that here before or not.
Has it really been almost two months since I made a legitimate post on here? I knew I'd been putting it off, but it didn't seem like that long.
I'm going through one of those phases again. Days seem long, but months seem short. I'm sure you know what I mean.
I started to write a post a few times over the last few weeks, but I just haven't had the motivation. Now, though, because I love you all so much*, I've decided to finally get around to posting...something.
Being the inverse of a lot of people***, the longer I take to post something, the less meaningful it has to be. For me to post twice in a week, something at least kind of interesting has to have happened since the last post, and/or I have to be on a blogging kick, as I haven't been lately.
I may as well take this time to type out the parts I remember of this weird semi-recurring**** dream I've been having. As in real life, the events are disjointed with little by way of continuity, and I spend a lot of time thinking about things that don't end up mattering.
...anyway.
The first place I remember being is some form of apartment. It's at or near the top floor of some old building (I can tell by the layout and the way the windows let light in.) There are a lot of doors in the place, many of which lead to places far removed from the building itself (and some don't lead to the same place twice). Luckily, I'm able to open the doors and look into them before I go through, but I spend what seemed to Dream-Me an inordinate amount of time making this decision, while looking at the bodies laying in the room. (I mentioned those, didn't I? Oh.)
One of the center doors leads to a set of downward stairs (the way I came in, I think). Another has somebody still alive, apparently hiding from the person who killed the other people. I shut that door back, leaving them to their own devices (It was no one I recognized, unfortunately). I opened another door that seemed to lead to a completely different building; the dimensions of the hallway it opened up into would have been impossible otherwise. There were a couple of people standing in that hallway, but I made sure to shut that door before they noticed me. (I don't know if I thought they were the killers, or just working for them, or what.)
So I go through another nearby door and am transported to what I assume is another part of the building I was just talking about. Somewhere in the apartment, I found some evidence or clues that led me to want to look for creature #31 in some project the people in the building were doing. I get to a main part of the building and I'm thinking about how I can't blow my cover by asking to see this 31st experiment, because it was a secret (the highest numbered one there was 30). Eventually I'm led around into another room where I meet up with some guy. I follow the guy into this room where they're breeding these giant bees.***** I stay in the regular room while the guy goes through a door and enters their area, which I can see through a glass window. I peek my head through the door and watch the guy take some kind of yellow things off a tree (Bee eggs? I don't know, lol). At this, one of the bees gets irritated and starts flying toward the guy, who begins walking away at a slightly slower pace than the bee is taking. I shut the door just after he gets through, before the bee has a chance to catch him.
After this, we go through a dark area of the building (almost looks like a gymnasium). The guy pulls out these two weapon-like things, and hands one to me. I can't remember exactly what he said, but I think it was something about using it to stop him from killing me. Either way, I use the weapon I was given and one of my points in Threatening Voice to intimidate him into handing over the other weapon, which he was about to take a stab at me with.
I don't remember much about what happened after that. I reappear in some regular house that vaguely reminds me of the apartment with some family members and some other people I don't recognize. I'm displaying my usual jackass facade, but I'm thinking about how to stay hidden from the people who killed the other people in the apartment.
And that's about it. I could try to psychoanalyze myself, talking about how all the doors represent opportunities, and how my actions with the different people and places represent my priorities and/or past events, but I'm too lazy for that.
*April Fools.**
**I know it's not April 1, I just don't care. I could easily change the date of this post (and take this part out), and no one would know.
***In so many ways...
****Semi-recurring because part of the setting (the main apartment, or whatever it is) remains the same, but the locations I get to from there are often different. I don't actually remember what they were before the one today, but I know they weren't the same ones.
*****They didn't look so much like giant bees as they did floating people in bee suits. If I were capable of being disturbed by such things, I think that would do it. I blame my mind's lack of bee knowledge (shape, sounds, mannerisms) that scales up to that size.
I have very little to talk about (again), so I'll ramble about some of the things I saw on CNN this morning.
Apparently there's some buzz about Prince's performance at the Super Bowl halftime show. I only listened to it*, so I thought everything was ok. I thought to myself that the only thing that could have made it better was if he exposed one of his breasts** on live TV.
...anyway.
So I'm watching CNN for who-remembers-what reason, and they show Prince's shadow and he has his guitar near his waist, so of course people thought it was a penis. (Pretty oddly shaped for a penis, but let's not go into that).
The people whose first reaction was that it was a penis (or even that it was representing one) are disturbed***. The people who noticed it and thought it was inappropriate are even more disturbed***.
Another Super Bowl related item, since it's the only newsworthy thing going on right now: The Snickers ad. For the uninitiated, the ad shows some guy eating an individually wrapped original brand Snickers candy bar, hereafter referred to as "Snickers" and/or**** "candy bar".
So the guy's eating a candy bar, and some other guy, apparently overcome by his desire for that rich chocolatey taste that only a Snickers can provide, begins to chew on the other end of the candy bar. In an awkward moment that seems all too implausible, they eventually eat their way from their respective endpoints to the center of the candy bar without noting the other's position, and their lips come together, an action hereafter referred to as a kiss.
Seeing as they are both (presumably) heterosexual men*****, the sudden realization that one has kissed the other disgusts both. The fact that they were disgusted by kissing another man has brought forth great anger from elements of the gay community.
To that, I can only say one thing: What is wrong with you faggots?******
The guy talking about it on CNN talked about it "setting the cause back 20 years", or however he said it. I fail to see how a commercial that didn't even involve any gay people (other than one of the alternate endings) can be seen as offensive, let alone setting back the cause of equal rights. As far as the number of years chosen, I was there for less than half of it, but I hear that the 80's were pretty damn gay.
It's not like gay people were taken by hetero settlers from their original homeland^ and forced to design clothing for rich plantation owners.
There was a third thing I was going to mention, but I was so astounded by how clever I am that I forget what it was.
I guess that's it, then.
*I wasn't watching...I didn't watch much of the Super Bowl at all this year. Neither team was very exciting to me, and I decided to play video games instead of paying attention to the commercials. Only reason I heard it instead of hearing about it later was because I was playing on a handheld.
**Men have breasts too, they just aren't normally called that. I think it's a funnier term, like with underpants vs. underwear.
***And not in the same way that I am.
****In case I don't use one or the other. I'm almost improvising here.
*****Reinforced by the fact that they're working under the hood of a vehicle
******Now, I'm using "faggot" pejoratively, not as slang for a gay, male or otherwise. You can be gay without being a faggot, and you can be a faggot without being gay. The faggots mentioned above, however, are gay faggots. It is their faggotry that I am targeting, not their sexual orientation. Their current indignation comes partially from their orientation, but mostly it's from the stick crammed up their collective asses.
Metaphorically speaking.
^Should I take a jab at France? If so, does this count?
Edit: I would have put it in the comment, but apparently the img tag can't be used in comments, no doubt to prevent hilarious spam.
Also, I wonder what was up with that second thing. Maybe it was there to...you know...go somewhere else. *giggles like a kid*
