I am so fucking tired.
It's not a sleepy tired, an overexerted tired, or...actually, I'm not sure exactly what it is. It's like everything is draining more of my soul than usual.* Everything just seems to take more energy than it used to. If I didn't know better, I'd think I was becoming depressed.
Oh well, nothing to do but drag myself across the finish line that is February 28th and see how March goes.
Maybe I'll devote more energy to finding renewable energy sources then.
Well, I have to go print some shit out and get to class. Catch you niggas** later.
*Or maybe my spirit; Right now I forget which way I made the distinction
**One of the spellcheck suggestions Blogger gave for niggas was "niches". That's an interesting relation that would add a new meaning to the statement. Plus, it rhymes with bitches.
Blogger is down right now (~12:33 EST) for "planned maintenance"*, but that doesn't mean I can't get my post ready, right?
Lately I've been having this recurring dream. I'm not actually sure when it started, or how many times I've had it, but it's been at least a week or two now.**
In the dream, I'm observing a few guys - generally with automatic weapons - doing a sweep of my neighbor's garage. (I think this location is chosen because it is visible from my bedroom.***) I think they're supposed to be US military, because sometimes they're wearing fatigues (though there was a letter jacket last time). Also supporting this hypothesis is the fact that they end up shooting and/or shooting it out with some veiled person (generally a female, but a few of those clever and deceptive male insurgents in my head have pretended to be female). The first time, she ran from a hiding place trying to reach the street and was turned into bloody paste about 15 feet later. In more recent dreams, though, the situation has devolved; the military folk actually had to fall back - over our fence. When the swarm of insurgents also came over the line, one of them directed some of the others to attack my window (I don't know if they saw me or just like wrecking up the place).
I think I may end up taking it to those bastards in the next dream, because dream-me contemplated getting my shotgun, getting out there, and...well, you get the idea.****
That's pretty much all I have to report, other than the fact that the most recent dream was an hour or two ago, since I took a 4-hour nap today, since I was really fucking tired for some reason.
*Is it still maintenance if it's unplanned? I would call it something like "technical difficulties", "unforeseen circumstances", or "Full-scale nuclear attack by Microsoft." Of course, that would take the emphasis away from positive action and put it on the cause of negative consequences, but that's what I do.
**I'm not sure because lately the part of me that makes me understand the time dimension has been..."on vacation", so to speak. When will it be back? It only knows.
***And also because it is a real-world location that lets me retain that neat "above the action" perspective popular in them video games.
****Regular me doesn't even have a shotgun, but hey, creative license. If the idea of anti-American forces inhabiting a major***** metropolitan area isn't cause for dismissing the whole thing (probably because it's a fill-in in my brain for Iraq, which I have no personal experience with [you know, the whole thing where dreams get weird when you try to do something you haven't actually done, because your brain doesn't know what sensations to give you?]), I think a little leeway regarding weaponry is in order. Heck, when they shot at the window I backed away from it, and all that hit the window was a little pebble. Of course, they then fired what appeared to be a comically large cannonball (5-6 feet in diameter) at the bathroom. It bounced off too, but I could see it tearing up the wall next time.
*****Ok, halfway between major and minor, but we're running out of *'s here.
*sigh*
February.
I still hate February. But I'll table that for now.
Starting earlier today, I began an experiment. In this experiment, I will try to learn what it is like to be homeless.
Except for the whole "no place to go" thing.
And internet access.
But hey, I've probably got the undiagnosed mental illness, at least. In addition, I now have no money or forms of ID, because I seem to have misplaced my wallet (yes, "misplaced" because it's not lost, I have a general idea of where it is. I remember making sure I still had it when I got off the bus yesterday, so unless I dropped it in a walk less than the length of a football field, it should still be at home).
For a while there I did forget that I had it while on the bus, and thought that maybe I left it somewhere in a university building. That prompted me to think about all the things in my wallet that would be a pain in the ass to replace, that I should probably take out of there:
* The credit card I don't use.
* My Social Security card.
In addition to the things I couldn't/wouldn't replace, that I can't take out anyway because I'd lose them if they were anywhere else:
* A couple of pictures.
* Letters I never sent.
I thought my grandfather found it because this morning he kept asking me if I wanted any money, which he often does when he's hidden my wallet somewhere (I didn't actually mention I didn't have it). He didn't give it to me before I went to school, though, so I don't think he has it now (though he might leave me to rot, knowing I could handle it...hmm...)
What else? Oh, the Super Bowl. Being from Cleveland, everyone in my family either loves or hates the Steelers, and that's an overgeneralization that I'm using for dramatic effect. Myself? I don't really care about them either way.
Having said that, I think the fix was in from the beginning (like it was for the Patriots some indeterminate year I can't remember). I could feel the Steelers' momentum (with the referees) building up some weeks ago in their game with Indianapolis. Now, I hate Indiana as much as the next guy (maybe more so), but they got robbed too. I don't remember how, exactly, but I have the feeling that they were. (And in the end, isn't that what really matters?)
Almost every call went against Seattle, for some huge penalties (they would have had an extra TD if not for those). That, in addition to the TD that never was, would have given them a 3-point win (I do think that really close touchdown that was counted for the Steelers should have counted).
I tried not to use any "*" notes this time, and it seems like I've succeeded. Instead, when my thought processes start to deviate from each other resulting in multiple concurrent processes, I put the offending process in parentheses (these things). This adds a nice disjointed effect (similar to that in my head), but it makes it harder to tell legitimate parentheses use (as if there is such a thing) from what would have been a note at the bottom.
I promise not to do it again.*
*But since it is February, I can lie. (So ha.)
Important edit: It was in my pants. Too many jokes here, so I'll just let it go.
Telling a joke, not what's in my pants.
...ah, forget it.
