No Use For A Title

I think it's time for some ADD-inspired rambling on an inane subject by me. By definition, anything contained in the preceding paragraph(s) should be taken literally (me use metaphor or symbolism to say something? That'll be the day!).

The topic I have chosen is that of beds. Yes, beds, the things most of you sleep on at night, if indeed you sleep at night. Whether your bed was chosen by you in a store, or chosen for you, it has been one of the most stable fixtures in your life, unless you have issues with emission control while sleeping and/or are very destructive. A lot of people, even when uncomfortable with their own bed, are loath to take a bed from someone else; there is a lot of meaning attached to ownership of a bed. To those people, I say "You chose your bed, now make it," or something like that.

Speaking of making beds, I usually don't. I leave the sheets wherever they feel like falling whenever it is I decide to get up, but that causes no problems for me in terms of sleeping; a little disorder never hurt anybody (A lot of disorder can, and would, but that's a topic for another day).

I've had my bed since before I was born, at least, the bed frame part. When all is said and done, that's what defines a bed for me: a bed is certainly more than just a mattress. That's why a couch is not considered a bed, except perhaps by those who are visiting friends or relatives and have been relegated to a couch for an extended period of time, in which case their calling a couch their bed is a joke meant to hearten both listener and reciter.

Having said all of that, I don't mind sleeping on couches. Whenever I visit anyone, that's usually where I end up. I just feel more comfortable only sleeping on my own bed; even if a "guest bed" is available, who would want one of those? It's hard to tell who has been in there, or what they've been doing.

And now, like a true ADD sufferer, I'll end without a real conclusion. Hey, it's what I know.

I got a trenchcoat this weekend. It emulates some of the effects of my lost cape pretty well. Now the high school kids who talk shit about me behind my back on campus (when they should probably be in school themselves) can avoid saying anything to my face for fear of being shot rather than cut.

Not that I got any new weapons. Well, projectile weapons...but I won't go into that. It's not like I carry anything dangerous - other than myself - anyway, I just exude that kind of aura, I guess.

Speaking of auras, mine is getting weird on me again. I'm getting back into a conflicted, "what the hell am I doing" state of being. I can't decide if I should follow it up with an unstate of being, or a state of unbeing. As for an unstate of unbeing...I'm not that kind of mostly-physical entity.

. 

hmm. I got my Federal income taxes back today; my grandparents didn't get theirs because of the error that was on the form. Because I only work during the summer, I don't make enough for them to keep any of it, so it's really only an interest-free loan. To be fair, I do the same thing for my family, and I hate most of them about as much.

I wonder what they used the money for. I wonder if it was used to buy bullets for use against the Iraqis. It couldn't have been for armor, from what I hear. It could have been put toward missile components as well.

In other news, I've been using some of my copious free time to ponder the meaning of a statement that was left on the board in one of my classes a while back: "EVERYON MUST BE HAPPY", with a hand axe under it, dripping blood, which had formed a puddle. All of it was done in blue chalk. We speculate that the blue blood signifies that the blood of nobles will/has been spilled, and we tried to find the significance of the missing E by various methods, mostly acronyms and anagrams. Today, I thought of "Everyon" as possibly being a person or country. Maybe this person/place can't be happy as long as the nobles are alive. To this I say: "Eat dirt, ye dirty oppressed peasants."

I feel my rambling skills have proven themselves for the time being. As for the time not being...well...I can't be held responsible for that.

Well, I can, but I shouldn't.

...ok, I'm done now.

Not too much news for the masses thus far this week. Maybe my "addiction" is going into remission.

Just a couple of (arguably) interesting notes. My grandfather has been sick this week, due to visiting our lesser relatives in PA. That establishes a pattern, and I now have a valid excuse for not wanting to go there. Last night when talking to my grandfather on the phone, my aunt wanted him to come visit her boyfriend's mother, who has pneumonia. I don't know how such an exchange would benefit anyone, but that's probably just because my mind doesn't work that way (Thank Me).

She also speculated that maybe he got this new "bird flu" that's been spreading. I looked up "bird flu" a minute ago, and it hasn't even left Asia yet; what a dumb bitch. What's up with Asia getting all these diseases? I guess that's what happens when the population density is so high. Two countries with over a billion people. Where I come from, we call that "inciting a plague", or at least a minor regional war. But everyone's too scared for war now, what with the potential for nuclear involvement. Stupid humans. Either way, that's why they get the plagues. The plagues don't seem to be as powerful as they were back in the day...I suppose technology has its ups and downs.

Ups and downs.

Ups and downs.

...oh, the other thing I was going to mention. The summer before I started school (almost two years ago, damn) some guy came into one of the buildings and started shooting up. Not drugs, people. Not people as in "Come on people", people as in he was shooting people. Or at them, at least. Just wanted to make that clear.

Anyway, as I was saying, the guy shot up the place...I think one person died and others were injured, but I can't remember and the information didn't immediately present itself upon a Google search, so my capacity for finding it is exhausted for the time being. Suffice it to say that he is a troubled man...he is in prison, after all. His lawyers are trying an insanity defense because he holds to this day that the school is the head of an "evil empire". I would joke and say that it is, but I'd rather joke and say that Microsoft patented being an evil empire in the US.

I guess that's all. Gonna log off of here, get a Pepsi, and head over to the building where it happened (class there). I'll give a little mini-rant about the building itself later.

I actually dreamt last night, a sign that I'm catching up on the REM sleep I deprived myself of earlier in the week. I didn't really sleep that much longer than before, but it wasn't quite "REM Rebound" type activity. So perhaps it was some sort of middle ground, something I'm not really used to by design.

They weren't particularly bad dreams, either. On a scale of 1 to 7, where 1 is being forced to drink glowing, molten lead and somehow remaining alive to watch your friends and family be brutally disemboweled by hideous demons, and 7 is a proverbial heaven on earth where all your desires - even the ones you didn't know you had - are met (I'm hoping the two are mutually exclusive, but *shrug*), I'd give it a solid 4. Probably closer to the 7 side than the 1, but I'm not a fan of going too far from the middle on seemingly logarithmic scales.

Having said all that, in a way, I prefer bad dreams. It's not that I'm some kind of emotional masochist, *snicker* but bad dreams remind me that things could be worse, and in a way that doesn't automatically make them worse. Contrast this with good dreams, which remind me that things could be better, without automatically making any steps toward that happening.

In addition, they remind me of the fact that I'm still no closer to the level of contentedness that I want. Even so, I must be ok with this on some level, because whenever an opportunity arises to try to get closer to that level, I generally ignore it. (In a way, it reminds me of those cartoons and comics where the good guy prevails every time, but the bad guy manages to get away, also every time. For whatever reason, the first example of this that popped into my head was Inspector Gadget. Did he ever catch Dr. Claw? If he did, I must have missed that episode. I'm not talking about the movie either, which I haven't seen; it doesn't count.) I don't think it's a risk-averse mindset, and it certainly isn't fear. In a way, I guess I'm depriving myself because I don't want to level off. I don't want to reach my equilibrium level of happiness before I'm 20. I don't want to settle; I never have.

And yet, somehow, I always have. Times like these make being Baterian difficult. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. At least, in that regard.

Oh, what happened in the dream, you ask? ...er...I can't remember.

I'm posting again, but what can I say? I like the sound of my own e-voice. I do wish Anonymous commenters would indicate somehow who they are, if I actually know them...doesn't really matter though.

In actual news, I finished about 75% of the crap I had to do by Friday. One of the two things is trivial and not due until 3:00 pm, the other is a paper that I haven't technically "started" yet but have a partial outline in my head for. Plus, that isn't due until midnight. This time I won't risk disconnections making me late by checking it before emailing it off...5 minutes before the deadline.

I'll get it done; I mean, I'm me, dammit.

Tired again, but still nowhere near as tired as I was the day I blew up one of the library terminals. [I finally remembered to mention it: there was snow on the ground that day (and there will be tonight, but I digress) and some of it got on my shoes, seeing as I don't float over the snow. When I used one of the trusty footrests/wireless terminals the morning of the post I mentioned it, some of the snow must have melted and gotten into the electronics. This resulted in a boom of moderate intensity, startling me to 75% awakeness and confusing the two Asian girls on a laptop a few meters away. None of us knew what had caused it at that point, but when I smelled something burning - and saw a small wisp of smoke trailing out of the terminal - it didn't take much for me to figure out what had happened. Closing bracket now (It may not be a parentheses, but I'm not taking any chances.).]

I went to the gym for the first time in a week; I'd meant to go three times a week but then I got all sick and tired. [Luckily, the nature of my sickness allowed the necessary human blood to be expelled from me in a expeditious fashion.] I'll have to start that plan next week, though: this Friday is going to be one son of a bitch, as they say in the vernacular. 3 papers, a 5-7 minute speech, and finished versions of the logs I've mentioned before are all due on that day. Have I started? Kinda, actually. This may actually take some effort.

Maybe I'll do a little bit of it over the previous weekend next time; I did know about all of these for some time now.

...nah.

hmm. With this many posts in a row you'd think something was going on.

Nope.

Well, we did go and get our taxes done today, and an interesting fact came up: I made too much at my summer job for my grandparents to get an extra $1000 or so credit on their taxes. This wouldn't be quite so bad if I hadn't been over the threshold by about $90. I guess I need to take a few vacation days this time.

Getting more money for less work...*sigh*. All I can say is...God Bless America (tm).

I no longer feel like I am dying; I suppose that's a good sign. I can sleep when I want to, as opposed to when it allows me to. The dull pain just behind my eyes and in my chest is starting to go away, and I feel like I'm going to be "ok" again.

Oh, and my cold's getting better, too. Take that, foreign viruses.

I have become ill, and not the good kind. (I was already that.) My throat seems to have become a factory engaged in the production of various colors of unknown substances, and I have become tired. Not just my normal "never fully awake" tired, but a tired that makes me weary of doing anything but laying around in a half-asleep state. In fact, I think I'm going to go take a nap in the library now. Good thing I only had one class today, and no other work scheduled until 4.

[More about the library when I'm not actually at school.]

I only got back one of the two tests: The one that took me 12 minutes. I got what translates to 86%, a...middle B. I should know better than to impose worst-case scenarios on the universe by now. Damn my hubris.

In other news, I have updated the collective blog started (but certainly not maintained at all by) Lord Gothmog. To anyone who used to check it every week or so, then every few weeks...then once a month, maybe...now you have reason to check it again! Not that I anticipate anyone actually bothering to read it. Or this, for that matter. But, I'm rambling.

For those of you who aren't Ancient History Ph.D. candidates, here's the link.

I guess that's all. *dismissive wave*

Oh, while I was using spell check (Which I certainly don't need and only use as a precautionary measure) the device picked up the word "blog" again. I finally took pity on its poor electron-based soul and hit "Learn". It also picked up the word "Gothmog", and the first suggestion was, ironically enough, "goading".

...

...it's ironic.

...Because I'm goading him.

...

...Yeah, well fuck you too.

Bastards.



Edit: Doing an edit instead of a new post to piss off humanity. er...to save...bandwidth.

Took a weird test I saw on this site designed to tell the taker what "Human Viruses" he/she/it/glar suffers from. Here are my results, with some extra spacing removed where I feel like it:


Human Virus Scanner

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Pokemon
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Japan
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.


Viruses you might suffer from:

Linux (80%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Sci-fi (80%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Discordia (90%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Brand Names (90%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Computer Games (90%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Environmentalism (73%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh (80%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.

---

Not too many comments, except for the fact that I disagree with "possibly having Linux". Just because I recognize their damn penguin? Come on now, I've never even used a Linux distro. er, version. Never liked what I've seen of their UI, and wasting resources on simulating the Windows GUI (even if the same resources would be used in the original version) doesn't hold well with me. And as for the potential Macintosh virus, well, that's pretty much the same thing, except for the fact that I actually did this edit on a Mac (The same one under the camera as always. Someone stole the chair that was at this one and is sitting with someone else on the Dell in the corner. No one else seems to like this spot. Maybe they like being able to see themselves on camera. At this point, I'm just seeing how many words/sentences I can get into this set of parentheses before I piss anybody off (myself included). Yes, I opened a set of parentheses back there. Glance back for an instant, you'll see them. Rambling about opening a parentheses is my way of filling space (and reminding myself that I need to close said parentheses, as leaving a parentheses open can have disastrous effects, up to and including blindness, loss of bladder control, anal leakage, and heat death of the universe).

If you noticed between the period and the beginning of this line that I didn't close my first set of parentheses, and thought of it before beginning to read this sentence, I must congratulate you. The revolution will need your kind in the days to come.)

This sentence is just here because ending a piece of writing with a parentheses is, for lack of a better word, tacky.

(or is it?)

I get to find out tomorrow how I did on the two tests I took Friday (as well as how strict the professors are when it comes to grading). I see a middle-B as a worst-case scenario for either, especially the 12-minute one.

Oh, later tonight I should probably fill in the Time Log for the past week, and maybe make up some things for the Stress Log. The Stress Log itself is just about the only stressor I can think of...all of my stressors lately have been academic.

...yes, academic. That means they are school-related.

Well, somehow, I am tired, and I'm not feeling particularly witty right now, so I guess that's all.

Two of my four classes today had tests. The first one was in a class that I'm late for (due to scheduling, as I've said before) roughly 90% of the time. So I arrive 7 minutes late. Not a big deal, as I still finished with about 12 minutes left in the class. That means I took about...31 minutes on the test, and I "killed it", as they say in the vernacular.

The second test...well...I whipped its ass almost as bad as I'd whip that other guy's ass, if I ever encountered him. It was pretty gruesome. Less than 15 minutes.

I realize I'm breaking my little "every other day" pattern with this post, but I'm a little proud of myself today. Plus, I'm secretly trying to get the picture off the main page. (Don't tell anyone.)

hmm. STILL at 18 posts. I'm starting to think there's something wrong with the counter.

In other news, I haven't really been keeping up with the Time Log. Or the Stress Log. At all. I don't like keeping track of how I'm utilizing my time hour by hour, I think seeing a summary of it as such will sadden me.

Oh well, I should have enough room in memory to more or less recall a week's worth of information at a time, especially for the Time Log. At a summary-based level, most of my days are the same. It isn't really variety that keeps life from being boring, it's the person.

So there.

Ah, February. The most misspelled month of the year. The shortest month of the year. Coincidentally, it is also deemed "Black History Month" in most of this nation. [Living in Cleveland for much of my life, I can't not know the last two facts.]

With a new month comes a new chance to demonstrate to the world that something out there wants me to succeed even in spite of myself. Though, at the same time, it is also a chance to demonstrate that something [else?] out there wants me to fail even in spite of myself. These two sides of my being may seem irreconcilable, but that's what being Baterian is all about.

I only win by default, or lose by default. If I am truly in competition, I crush everything because others seem to think things are much harder than they are. And if I'm not...well...some extraordinary force has conspired against me.

This may seem like a self-serving bias* at its worst, but it really does hold true, and it has for several years now. I doubt that I'd believe it myself if it weren't happening to me; I guess it's one of those things most people need to see to believe, and the chance of that is very small.

* For the psychologically challenged,^ a link to Wikipedia explaining the term "self-serving bias.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-serving_bias

You'll have to excuse my lack of html and just copy-paste, you lazy bastard. After all, I Have No HTML Skill. (tm)

Why couldn't I put it^^ right there with the term?

...go fuck yourself.

^ lol, a pun.**

^^ "it" being the link to the definition, or perhaps even making the term itself the hyperlink.

** I try not to use footnotes too often, as they get out of hand quite quickly, as you no doubt see.