No Use For A Title

A quick note: most of this was actually written last month (11-16), so anything referencing time relative to "today" is probably using that day. If my thought process appears more disjointed or stilted than usual, that's probably part of it. I'm actually only submitting it because I'm waiting now for the results from the special election in Ohio's 5th district (which is far from here, and I don't know anyone there, but hey). As for why I need so much additional time when all I'm doing is adding a little bit and hitting submit...I don't know, lol. (Wait, I just thought of a reason! Because I'm going to mash the post below, this italicized parts made today, and the half-done post I was going to replace this one with together!)

hmm...time for a follow-up blogging so I can get used to regularly writing about inane crap again.

In no particular order:

I was flipping through channels earlier today and came across one (CNN or Headline News, doesn't matter which) that informed me that Barry Bonds has been indicted with 5 charges: 4 perjuries with a side of obstruction of justice. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. I realize that "indicted" does not equal "convicted", but I'm as convinced of his guilt as most people are of OJ Simpson's guilt.* Maybe now they can take his pathetic ass out of the record books (Bonds, not Simpson, lol) instead of just putting an asterisk next to every entry.** Here's a line for the prosecution: "If his old clothes don't fit, you must convict." Of course, he's not being charged with substance abuse, he's being charged with perjury and obstruction, i.e. the crimes they charge you with if your subsequent criminality makes it impossible to determine and/or prove your previous criminality.

I got Super Mario Galaxy Tuesday. As of around 4am (today, not the same day), I had all 120 stars...that Mario can get. This game...damn. If any game before ever surpassed the hype to this extent, I haven't heard of it. People who complain about the unoriginal storyline are missing the point; Mario has never been about the deep, engrossing story, it's about playing the most well-crafted and painstakingly balanced (not to mention innovative***) platforming games ever made. If you claim to like platformers at all and don't love this game, you can eat a giant bag of dicks, nigga. Review sites that give this game 95% or less are doing it a tragic injustice, and are either operating on a logarithmic scale^ (consciously or otherwise) or are just biased assholes.

In case you couldn't tell yet, parts in italics were added today, and not the other today. I just wanted to add that I also beat the game with *whispers* Luigi, and when I went back to using Mario I was more used to Luigi's sliding and longer/higher jumps. It wasn't too bad, but it was noticeable.


*btw, dey need to le'e dat nigga alone. I mean, sure, he should probably get in trouble for that whole "armed robbery" thing, but there are all these smug assholes out there talking about how it's a way of getting back at him for 'getting away with murder'. I know I've already talked about it, so I won't bother to again, but suffice it to say that Ron Goldman's dad can eat a big bag of dicks.

**I wouldn't count on it, though.

***Mention that retarded Ratchet and Clank asshole here (See, what had happen was, this Ratchet and Clank asshole was all like "yeah, it's cool that this nigga be copying our round worlds and shit" and I'm all "what the fuck, bitch nigga? These niggas been usin' every platform element since before yo' ass was even in da game, litraly.")

^I heard one site gave it 98% because the frame rate dropped once or twice, apparently thinking the game must literally be perfect to get 100%. (Does penmanship count?) If I get comfermation of this and find out they gave some other bullshit game 100%...well, I wouldn't want to be around me then. The righteous indignation will be pouring off me in waves.

---

This part is from December 3, apparently...the day Brawl was supposed to come out and didn't. Damn Sakurai.

Apparently the Sudanese government, that bastion of moral authority, deigned to let the schoolteacher who let some kids name a teddy bear “Mohammed”* out of jail, rather than killing her. They would have been completely within their rights to kill her, too; after all, ignorance of the law is no excuse.

But seriously though, the more I think about that case, the dumber it sounds. That’d be like people here getting up in arms over some kids naming a teddy bear “Chris”, because that’s too close to Christ. I mean, 195%** of Muslim men are named some variant spelling of Mohammed anyway, so that’s probably the first name they’d think of. I mean, I could understand the outrage and calls for death if she’d given it a bomb-shaped hat, but as is I think the fervor of the protests is just the product of people with no job and crippling poverty wanting some “other” to vent at.

I should stop here; my dim view of those involved could damage my prospects later on if I decide to run for office.

On a more whimsical note, Super Mario Galaxy is the greatest game ever.*** When I finished Super Mario 64, I was sad because it was over. When I finished Super Mario Galaxy (with 121 stars!), I was sad because I know there will probably never be a better platforming game.**** Sure, there will be ones with more polygons, but I started playing games before graphics became the standard measure of a game’s value.***** It’s just so fun, the only deficiencies in any sense of the word arise from the fact that there isn’t more of it. (More flying levels would have been nice, for instance.)

*or was the spelling different?

**give or take

***I don’t care what reviewers with an agenda based around keeping that faggot Link on top have to say, Mario is the god of video games. (You can still use the name, though. I won’t get angry.) Besides, OoT got its scores back in a time when the entire industry was different. A lot of them are 4/4 or 5/5 where the reviewer only used integer increments (and if that’s the case, it really is closer to 100% than to 75% or 80%). It was a more innocent industry, too. Reviewers didn’t give games low scores just for the notoriety (at least, not many did). Heck, I got my first PS1 on launch day without waiting in a line, and I wasn’t shot at even once (this is why I use a credit card, even if it has to be a Mastercard, which has a 5 (an uneven number!) at the beginning. Well, I do have a Visa too, but I don't get any points with it).

****Miyamoto-san is getting up there in age, after all. *sniff*

*****That second link might not be fair, though. PS3 clearly isn’t made to play video games. Then again, the graphics displayed in its high-definition “BluRay” movie format are pretty good, so it at least half fits.

Labels: Barry Bonds, Darfur, Multiple posts in one, nested parentheses, phonetic spelling, Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, way too many labels